Ok, so maybe I wasn't the best coach

”But, you called me a loser” she almost cried

Sweet little victim. I shook my head. Gosh.

“That’s the point” I said, gesturing my hands out into the free air.

She blinked at me. The message was not received. I think she might’ve been scared. I sighed.

“Let’s go through this again. You need more confidence, right?”

She crossed her arms, gently touching them with her small hands. Up down, up down they moved. She looked to the side trying her hardest to avoid eye contact, slowly stating a: “errm…” 

“Right?”

Her eyes flickered at me, as if my eyes would burn her. Pierce her soul with my-

“I… I guess”

Her voice was light, I could barely hear it.

“Excuse me? What did you say? I heard nothing. Nada. Once more please”

Her eyebrows were touching in the middle. Insecure.

“Nevermind, just listen”

She was trembling.

“If you are strong in here” I pointed at her chest “You will show it all around you”

Sceptic she looked back.

“Errm…”

“Yes, I know ‘errm’, I get it”

She looked away again, water in her eyes. Was I being too harsh? Too up front? No.

“Listen”

She didn’t, so I gently went forward and grabbed her arms. I changed her position, made her see me.

“Listen”

She looked down. I gave up my attempt of forcing eye contact upon her.

“The point is” I said and let her go “if you are confident with who you are, then you won’t care about what others might think”

She looked up, kind of asking ‘really?’

“Well yes. Because if you love yourself, what would it matter what others think?”

“Everything” she whispered

“No, no, no. You do your thing and that’s that. What others think becomes irrelevant. Suddenly you stand there, looking yourself in the mirror thinking: damn, I’m good. You are ultimately the one who criticises you the hardest, which means that it’s your attitude that must change. Once you accept yourself, and you won’t need the reaffirming factor from others!”

No reaction.

“Don’t you see?”

Nope. I launched ahead, grabbing her arms yet again, shaking her as I got filled up with my ideas.

“Don’t you see? You don’t need anyone to tell you how amazing you are, because it’s already an established fact!”

She tried smiling. I let go.

“Doesn’t help, does it?”

She looked away again.

“Nothing I say makes the smallest amount of impact on you?”

She took one step back.

“Then you are a boring bitch aren’t you?”